"I don't know when we'll see each other again or what the world will be like when we do. We may both have seen many horrible things. But I will think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is beauty and goodness in the world." 
— Arthur Golden (Memoirs of a Geisha)

THERE IS A FEELING THAT COMES TO US WHEN WE KNOW SOMETHING IS OF BEAUTY AND GOODNESS

ITS UNIQUE, IT COMES NOT BECAUSE WE WILL IT THERE, NOT BECAUSE WE HAD TO TRY REALLY HARD TO MAKE IT THERE BUT BECAUSE IT IS 

NO DOUBT WHEN WE HAVE THAT FEELING IT CAN BE MADE BETTER, STRONGER AND LAST FOREVER

IT IS THAT WAY WITH FAITH, WITH LOVE, WITH KNOWLEDGE AND WITH OUR BEHAVIORS

BUT THAT MOMENT, THE ONE MOMENT YOU KNEW ALL WAS GOOD, RIGHT AND ENCHANTED 

THAT FEELING COMES TO LET US KNOW THAT BEAUTY AND GOODNESS IS THERE, TREASURE IT

JOURNEY OF SEVERAL THOUSAND MILES

what a journey this has been, I have spent a lifetime wondering what my grandparents or the past lived like in Kentucky.   These had to be hard tough people.   Every place had mountains, deep ravines and heavy forests.  To get anywhere must have taken days upon days.   Just going the backroads took hours to travel a hundred miles.   Roads cut into stone that would creep up one side of the mountain and down the other.   In my search one site in particular was important.  The resting place of a Civil War Veteran, my Great Great Grandfather.  After a long day search of several locations and when I was going to give up, there it was still legible after all these years.   I felt a peace when I found this and I was honored to have been there. 

Each Day

Each day I'm glad for the reprieve from your life, but I ache to see you

Each day I relieved of your stress, but I want to carry your problems

Each day I don't want to know your struggles, but I worry about each one

Each day I don't want your touch or smile, but would give anything to see them and hug you

Each day I cannot carry your pain, but I would relieve it

Each day I don't want to feed you, but I would bring you bread

Each day I do not want to cry for you, but I long to cry with you

Each day I hate your dirty clothes, but I gladly want you clean

Each day I say you need to stand on your feet, but I want to help you up

Each day my heart breaks, but the broken pieces are still full of love for you

Each day I dont know where you are, but each day my thoughts are finding you

Each day I was blessed to be your dad, and each day I know that is my treasure

Each day

Repost of old Blog with awesomE pictures

          TREASURE HUNTER--In my treasure hunts today I found this awesome chest, where has it been what has it seen and what has it held.    I love history!!   I follow with a thought I wrote some time ago,  gives you thought.

BAGGAGE

(this is a boring one, you don't have to read it, this one is for me)

SOME TIME AGO I WROTE A POEM OF WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD, IT WAS ONE OF MY FIRST AND THE JIST OF IT STILL LINGERS WITH ME, (I CANT FIND THE BOOK I  WROTE IT, THIS IS AN ACCURATE REPLAY)

 WE ALL CARRY SOME SORT OF BAGGAGE IN LIFE, IT IS BOUND TO BE THERE AND IT IS TAKEN CARE OF OR LOOKS LIKE

LINUS HIS DUST AND BLANKET, OR WAS THAT PIG PEN?

I, HAVE DECIDED TO KEEP MY BAGGAGE TO A MINIMUM AND TO KEEP IT TIDY AND NEAT, THAT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN EASY NOR IS IT DONE. CONTINUAL TRYING IS IMPORTANT, THERE COMES A TIME THAT EACH OF US REALIZE WE HAVE A BAG THAT GOT BURIED IN THE BUNCH, A BAG WE DON'T NEED NOR WANT BUT JUST THE SAME THERE IT IS, AND IT JUMPS OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB. THIS PREDICAMENT CAME GLARING TO ME ONE NIGHT, AND BROUGHT THE BAGGAGE OUT AND THE TRAIL OF DIRTY LAUNDRY STRINGING OUT OF IT LIKE A BAG THAT TSA WENT THROUGH!

I REALIZE THAT THIS SITUATION MUST BE DEALT WITH TO CLEAN UP MY LAUNDRY, MY BAGGAGE AND MOVE ON WITH PRIDE. NOW MIND YOU MY BAGGAGE IS NOT GUCCI, NOR IS IT ANY OF THE FANCY STUFF YOU GET AT HIGH DOLLAR SPORTS SHOPS OR DEPARTMENT STORES, I IMAGINE IN THIS PARALLEL WORLD MY BAGGAGE TO BE AMERICAN TOURISTOR, IF NOT A GOOD TAKE OFF SOLD AT WAL-MART.

TO DEAL WITH POOR LUGGAGE THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HANDLE THIS, DO NOT RECYCLE, DO NOT THRIFT STORE THIS, IT MUST BE EXPOSED, DELOUSED, AND BURNED!   IN OTHER WORDS, FIGURE IT OUT, DECIPHER AND CORRECT AND THEN MOVE ON WITH LIFE. THIS PROCESS CAN TAKE ANYWHERE FROM A SECOND TO ETERNITY TO ACCOMPLISH. AND IT IS ONLY DELAYED BY DISCOURAGEMENT.

First Day of the Rest of Your Life

I was once told, well every day I woke up for 18 years and then for the last 30 each day I saw my dad, that this is the first day of the rest of your life make the best of it.   Ive had a lot of first days, I have a lot that I let slip by, and did not make the best of it.  Mostly I had tons slip by that I did not make it the best for someone else.    Too often the world ends at the end of our fingers.    Worldly pursuits cloud family values, family values become misunderstood as intrinsically connected to worldly pursuits.     There is nothing more important than family.    Somewhere along the way that clouded in many areas.   Family has little to do with the genetic gifts (or deficits) passed on.    Though very important there comes a time when you give or take enough from another person and they are then your family.    The challenges of being a father, dad or even somedays the genetic donor (for lack of worse words) have heart warming and wrenching waves that affect other parts or your world.   Balancing all of that is a nightmare, I see it in the one who told me this is the first day of the rest of your life make the best of it, but thought it would just genetically be passed on.  It is time to keep working on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!    So today is the first day of the rest of my life, The past defines who I am this morning, today will begin to define who I will be tomorrow and dreams will map who I can become. 

FINGER POINTER

years of utter disappointment in myself has resulted in fewer times that i raise my are to the finger pointer position

nearly every time that I judged, pointed the finger or slung mud, I got the same in return or got myself dirty

growing up in a time when the judging upon appearance was acceptable breaking the habit has been a life's challenge

lately the fingers have come out of pockets, i think rampant and quick but reality is i should expect it

when you wake up and look around and all you see are fingers, you instinctively want to deflect the powerful guilt rays coming from them. 

so deflecting the rays, would nearly make me a vicarious finger pointer

Im gonna try to avoid deflecting rays, be honest, take the heat and confidently know the whole story

why the urge to finger point, i know that others lose respect, i know that others need an outlet 

but why do we have the urge?  

the powerful rays are neither seen, felt, and often cannot be contained once shot

they richochet relentlessly, get marred, deformed, bent, twisted and leave a trail of horror every where they go

why the urge?  is it really finger pointing if its true, its not even a rumor if its true ,,,,,right?

but if it neither affects the price of milk, the heating bill, the mental well being of another's child, spouse or sibling why the urge to point out the mistake or crime or --------

really is it possible that those pointing the finger think that where they point the finger , those people are too dumb to realize their actions?

well there it is, i have successfully pointed my finger at the finger pointers,   whew i feel better that must be the urge to feel better about yourself

dumb reason!

Sometimes you struggle claw and climb for that 5 foot. Look ahead and up. There is a hand out waiting for you to grasp on to. Grab it and hold on the climb is easier when someone helps to stabilize you push you and pull you

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

Every once in a while you have to 

make decisions you know are for the best

think beyond yourself

roll your sleeves up

and suck your gut in

Every once in a while you get to 

Love

Laugh

Smile

Cry

Hurt

Every once in a while you are

loved

hugged

cheered on

hurt

Making every once in a while count is once in a lifetime

PROCRASTINATING FOOL!!!

Reminded miraculously of the existence of my therapeutic blog one can tell that therapy took a vacation.
4 years of lapsed writing, and cumulative thoughts to fill novels will spew in a few sentences and scattered thoughts.
Taking a journey to the thinking rock, stone or whatever it might be coined, I had rushing thoughts of summing up time,>>>>>>>>cant be done.
Suffice to say that time hasn't waited for me to catch up and it never will. As I reread all of the blogging I knew why I do this.
I quit (I think) when I became a facebooker, duh there is a difference.
Facebook is just that in your face, this is a message in a bottle. If anyone remembers where I am they can read it but for me its not that the message is read, just written.
So lets say that when my heart was touched today which reminded me of this blog it was a whisper to come back to the comfort of my thoughts.
I read and remembered, everything, every feeling, thought, tragic and joyful and time hasn't waited

procrastination of priorities, or re direction?

yes it has been forever since bogging!!! This past time period (almost a year) has been a total re assortment of priorities, and filling life with good things.

the events-----
-met a great chick
-bryce was baptised
-spent lots of time with great kids and thier blossoming lives
-wrecked my truck
-fixed my truck
-wrecked my truck again(or a deer wrecked his life)
-finished the never ending homes of star valley
-finished an associates degree
-saw mexico briefly one day
-found some talents (remember eye of the beholder) I like (writing)
-found some that are not talents but struggles (accounting)
-quasi moved to idaho (too much crap)
and of course
-got married!!!!!

It has been a rather busy year, with partings, meetings and future thoughts. A friend once said " hold on to life cause it is just getting started", financial success and overall big business tycoon thoughts came to mind. Instead findings are that life is just starting, and the soul is harrowed, the mind is enlightened, humility enriched (least desirable journey) and realization of the wake and ripples left along the journey delight and haunt the spirit.

Whether by age or by the urgency of intuition the world climate is constantly in thought. An election, society norms that are ever changing, acceptance of, and temperance to the media, hollywood and daily chatter on the streets and in our towns are all things that churn the inards. Involvement may be a key mitigation tool, or hopefully for at least the immediate family. If we all took it upon ourselves to realize that our involvment at home is the key, it makes changing a world easier. Maybe a dream, but the week produced at least the appearance of this theory---- read on---

As thoughts are lost in how to vote and throw what support is musterable, the recent choice for Vice Presidential candidate proves a theory that has ran the lonesome and sometimes empty hollows of the middle aged mind. Chanting change doesnt do it, providing change by stepping outside of the norm, the accepted and delving into the unchartered territory, (at least as far as politics is concerened) may prove to be the answer.

The last thing we need in Washington is another lifetime politician, by chosen career. It is time that we step beside ourselves, and notice what is wrong with ourselves and fix it. It takes the brutality of honesty, integrity and GRIT. The thought has echoed in the hallway that change will not come from an independant or whatever new and unsupported party may be, but from an accepted peer in the norm (Mc Cain). To walk where no one has walked before. (Palin) {Again as ramblings go much is said to find the end},
here is the point-----------------> a person who recognizes that "we the people" are signers of the paycheck, and then has a background of motherhood, and managing a home has all the grit needed. It is time we recognize that most of the big ideas and stability of society always came from our mother. Guys who truly are honest will recognize and say the simple phrase about thier wife "she was right" bottom line they think better, not something an arrogant man will say in his youth. But even that comes with a footnote and here that is-----------> neither man nor woman can or will reach thier full potential without the other, serving each other as they proceed.


-now after rambling on about all the bugs in the mind, this is a great year
-now is the best time of our life
-hold on , from today forward life is just beginning
-we can become better, and provide hope
-to make what you have and where you are a treasure in this world is a gift, and it is an oppurtunity for all!!!!!!!!!!!