procastinationator, psuedo-busy, poor time manager

Here it is nearly spring, my life has been a constant barage of note worthy yet forgetful and to learn from events this winter. I would have to break things up into a couple of catgories, the good, the bad and of course the ugly

first I want to start with the good

- one good thing that has happened is I have become a grandfather, and to my delight. of course I did nothing more than to produce good children which in turn are doing the same, but to experience that feeling again, the one while waiting (though this time outside the room) and to hear the first cry, life a new person, a spirit, a personality and if only least of her attributes my grand daughter, I felt blessed again, once again it was needful of the world to cease to revolve around any other families, for the focus to come only unto mine and my own, selfish and arrogant as that sounds, it is indeed a reality I had no other worried, no thoughts of business, no concerns of timelines, just the sweet blessed satisfaction and humility of exeriencing a miracle of birth (of course this blog issue will have continual updates)
- next the home project I had put my efforts on for mo0st of the summer had finally come to blossom, and has gone from a miserable winter project to a miserable muddy spring project with the home resting comfortably under contract for sale and a number of interested parties speaking of similar construction in the future.
-as always the kids lie in here, each of them making accomplishments as thier life grows and ages, an eagle scout project is completed, a piano recital where my daughter has gone from the new kid who could barely play to the oldest and most talented at the recital, the older ones making adult decisions and facing adult consequences in proper manners, and the youngest setting new world records in fish catching and fish story telling.
-one other good thing I have had good help this winter as I have struggled, well I must say that to have help is good, of course having some of the stalworths are what keeps us alive and thankful, the others, I will continue to sift for the good.


The Bad:

I decided when trying to tell the bad that a balance should happen here, good bad and ugly, so here goes to creating balance.

-remember those great employees, well I feel like I have become a helping center for those needing a stopover point in magical changes in thier lives. One such employee decided to try his hand at equipment operation and as a lead in for that had protrayed himself as a good operator, during busy times I of course let all men do thier job and do not micro manage them, after a couple times noticing the equipment operating in fashions I am not familiar with such as from its side, and smashed into a tree, I questioned my employee and asked if he had something against me, knowing that eventually the piper would have to be paid I am now in negotiations to purchase some damaged equipment rather than incur a dead end expense of rent and repair. Well to go on would be complaining, and I dont want that label.
-when we have not mastered our habits we lie somewhere in between, and some habits of others can be harmful, as was the case with my two anxious and industrious helpers this winter. I wonder if they had placed all of thier energies into work where would they be today. I became suspicious when I bought some garage sale tools they brought to work for indeed garage sale prices which then made me question proior purchase from them for more expensive items. Indeed these two had life and the world by the tail, new snow machines they rented, new 4 wheelers thier cousing lent them and enough money to go around. I left town to go to puchase items for the project and notices my business debit card misssing, looking into the matter I found that my card was good to be used for fast food also, 130 bucks worth, I went to the most recent place of use and they did identify my employees as the thiefs, they had betrayed me. I fired them, I let them go, with remorse, they were good employees. the best helpers I had had in a while, but seemed tired all the time. A couple days later they were arrested and connected to nearly all of the unsolved buglaries in the valley, how do I find these high quality employees.
i find myself here thinking of all the bad things, I have to keep a balance, just somewhat equitable. my thoughts think of a long list, but I will keep it to one more in the "bad".

I found myself requiring surgery, nothing bad, shouldnt hurt too much, but when do I have time, I could add to the good list that the Veterans Admin, has paid for all of this, and the doc informed me of the new recovery of a week. wow, that works, my carpenter needs a week off, I need a week to clear my mind and get fixed and we have some labor items that can be done. DID NOT HAPPEN , the surgery did not end up laproscopic for whatever reason, (still dont have great answers on that one) so I am cut open, hurt like crazy and cannot maintain oxygen in my system, hmmm, so for the first time I spent life in a hospital overnite, and cant remember anything but I had milkshakes with every meal.

ok as i said i could go on and on but balance



THE UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ugly, though about this all afternnon while composing this, here is the truth about the ugly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the ugly is that during this winter I spent time dwelling on the bad to limit me from some oppurtunities to experience more good, my good list can go on and on, too often we overlook the good and dwell on that bad. I have indeed had a long list of ugly and bad the past year, but lets just focus, my health is good, my kids are good, I have a healthy grandbaby, I have been able to live my dream of building a home I have wanted to do, has not been a perfect dream but some things came out even better. The ugly in us sometimes does not see all the good, and let me say that for all the bad if I only had one of the good, it still would be a good life. well again ramblings and hope to do more soon.